Do you ever feel like what you do isn’t good enough?
Like it doesn’t deserve respect?
Do you ever feel attacked, ridiculed, and forced to defend your choices, your writing, and your approach?
If you do, I’d like to let you know that you’re not alone.
In fact, any time you put yourself out there in the world and make yourself vulnerable, there are vultures waiting to attack.
- They’ll tell you writing romance is stupid.
- They’ll tell you you’re a terrible writer.
- They’ll correct your grammar and call you out to defend your opinions and ideas.
Some folks are passive about it and they’ll lure you into a debate.
Others don’t hold back. They lash out, laugh, and walk away.
Some will be personal attacks from people you expect to love and support you. Others will be perfect strangers.
They’ll attack online, they’ll attack in person.
It’ll come from all directions. If you engage or let them affect you, they’ll pick at you until there’s nothing left.
Sounds awful, right?
Why would you, or anyone in their right mind, put themselves in that position?
The answer is simple,
because you’re following your dreams and that’s the only thing that matters.
Don’t engage. Ignore them. they don’t matter, they really don’t.
When I was first starting out and taking baby steps toward my romance writing career I sent a story into a magazine. The story was accepted. I was over the moon. I wanted to celebrate and share the achievement with my friends and family. Someone close to me, at the time, was embarrassed by it. No, it wasn’t erotica. There wasn’t a steamy scene in the entire story. But they didn’t want their family to know I published a romance story. Talk about putting a damper on someone’s dreams.
But I learned along the way to surround myself with people who love and support me, without judgment, and to ignore the rest. And there are still people, on an almost weekly basis, who like to point something out and laugh or who like to poke, argue, and debate.
You know what, they suck.
Their miserable lives must suck too if they have nothing better to do with their time than instigate arguments with others and put them down. It used to tick me off and now, at the ripe old age of 41, I feel sorry for them. I cannot say that I have reached a state of consciousness where I can love them or feel much compassion for them but I do feel pity. (I’ll keep working on the compassion thing.)
Don’t Carry Their Burden of Misery
In the meantime, I urge you to follow your dreams and ignore the naysayers. Chances are, they’re miserable and need to put some of their misery somewhere else because they just cannot carry it all themselves. Don’t take it from them. Make them carry their own burden and maybe they’ll figure out how to lessen the load themselves.
In the meantime, write, put yourself out there, and share your gifts with the world. It’s what you were meant to do.