file7331246481236Have you used an affirmation before?

Maybe you wanted to cultivate a new habit or get rid of an old one. Maybe you found yourself surrounded by negative thoughts and you wanted to feel better about yourself and your pursuits. Maybe you simply wanted or needed a little boost of courage to help you get past the fears swimming in your head.

Affirmations are great for all of those endeavors. But, chances are that your affirmation practice dwindled. You probably didn’t experience the results you wanted or expected from the practice so you let it go.

That’s a smart thing to do by the way. When something isn’t working for you, let it go. However, in most cases it’s a good idea to examine why it isn’t working. Sometimes, as is often the case with affirmations, a few simple tweaks to your practice can make all the difference.

So let’s take a look at the common mistakes that I see when working with people and when discussing affirmations.

#1 The Affirmation Doesn’t Resonate with You

Here’s a common example of an affirmation that just doesn’t work for most people. “Wealth constantly flows into my life. I am financially free.”

Well that’s just great…if you believe it. However, the vast majority of people who are repeating this mantra are in over their heads in debt. They can say the affirmation every second of every day but if their reality contradicts the affirmation and they can’t buy into it, then it’s not going to help. A better affirmation for someone in this situation might be, “every day I take steps towards wealth and financial independence.” That’s something that is easier to believe and connect with and it is just as empowering.

When you’re writing your own affirmations or using pre-written affirmations, make sure that it resonates with you. Can you “buy into” the thought and does it make you feel motivated, excited, hopeful, or empowered?

#2 It’s Not Personal

The affirmation that you’re repeating needs to be personal. For example; I am taking steps…I am receiving, I find, I make, I embrace. Notice that the word “I” is used in each affirmation. This is another way that you connect with the phrase and the words. A simple statement may not always connect with you the way a personal statement can.

That’s not to say that there aren’t powerful affirmations that don’t use the word “I”. There are and they can work. However, again you must ask yourself if you feel connected to the statement. For example, “Writing romance is rewarding.” That’s a statement that you may or may not feel connected to. To make it more effective you might try adding “I” or “Me” to the statement. “Writing romance is rewarding to me.” Or “Writing romance brings me unlimited rewards.” Simply adding a word or two changes how this concept can impact you and your mindset.

#3 There’s No Practice or Habit

I like to read quotes. Every morning I receive a few quotes in my email box from chosen people. I love them. Louise Hay, for example, sends affirmations and positive thoughts occasionally. Martha Beck does too and there are many others. I like to start my day by reading their quotes. It makes me think about things differently and can set the tone for my day.

Unfortunately, this is how a lot of people use affirmations as well. They look at them once, maybe first thing in the morning, and they don’t look at them again. Sure, it can start your day off on the right foot. However, let’s not forget what the goal of an affirmation really is.

The goal for an affirmation is to help you shift your mindset. So if you’re feeling unending fear about the quality of your writing for example, and we all do go through this, reading an affirmation first thing in the morning is a great start but it’s not going to be enough to combat that fear that’s embedded in your psyche. You have to sort of chase it out by repeating the affirmation often, until you believe it instead of the fear.

So the practice of affirmations is important. We’ll talk about how to create a powerful affirmation practice next time.

Happy writing!



365 Affirmations for Romance WritersReady to kick your creative fears to the curb? Ready to banish doubt, writer’s block, and confidence issues? 365 Affirmations for Romance Writers is designed to help you overcome any mindset challenge you’re facing so you can sit down at the blank page with clarity and confidence.